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May 27, 2021
SHANGHAI 2010 [26.12.2010] content media
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May 11, 2021
In MY POEMS
我在一个瓶子里存储泪水;I stored tears in a bottle; 一个瓶子里存储生活;I stored my life in an other; 一个瓶子里存储梦;the third bottle is filled with my dreams; 我还有一个瓶子,and I still have one bottle, 我用它存储那个儿时的自己,I use it to store my childhood, 留给你。For you. Chinese written on 19Th Feb 2010, translated on 11Th Nov 2012
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May 01, 2021
In MY POEMS
Chinese on 10th April 2011 English on 1St Mai 2021 精神的国在消散, 边界渐渐圆滑。 理想主义者躲起来了, 在躲避的地方 遇到了更多的理想主义者。 他们高谈阔论: 执法者! 有什么法!? 囚徒! 有什么罪!? 民主! 为什么要民主!? 把可乐给我。 把面巾纸给我。 把手机给我。 我们收桌子吧? … 我突然想起 几十年前的另一群年轻人的讨论 也许和这没有太大区别。 吃完饭总是要收桌子的。 … The spiritual kingdom is dissipating, The boundaries gradually become smoother. The idealists were hiding, in their hiding places, they met more idealists. they harangued loudly: Enforcer! What force did they have!? prisoner! What sin did they have!? democracy! Why did we need democracy!? Pass me the coca cola… Pass me the facial tissues… Pass me the phone… Shall we clean the table? … I suddenly remembered those discussions: some other young people had decades ago. Maybe it was not so much different from this one. We always have to clean the table after dinner.
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Apr 22, 2021
In MY STORIES
“I think now that being free is not being powerful or rich or well regarded or without obligation but being able to love. To love someone else enough to forget about yourself even for one moment is to be free.” “爱一个人爱到可以忘记你自己,哪怕只是一瞬间,那就是自由。” ― Jeanette Winterson, The Passion … 有一天早晨,有两个男人牵着手在我前面走,突然,其中留着络腮胡子的那位轻盈地向前方跃了一步,舒展双臂,连续做了两个芭蕾的三百六十度旋转,停下来,等着另一个人走到他身边,继续牵手。走着走着,他又向一棵树独自走去,指着树枝让另外一个人看,他就安静地看;他又转向一个雕像,指着什么让他看,他继续安静地看。 我独自走,比他们走得快,我看见他们,又与他们擦肩而过。我知道,他们在这个城市里还要走很久,一起发现很多有趣的事情。他们会忘记时间,忘记其他人,也许还会错过一个火车,但总还是有下一个火车,也总还会有另一个人看见他们,看见他们在这个城市里跳的舞。 One day morning, two men were holding hands and walking in front of me, suddenly, the one with beard jumped lightly forwards, stretched his arms and did two 360° ballet circles, after that he stood there and waited for the other man walking towards him, they were holding hands again and went on walking, then the bearded man let go of his hand and walked towards a tree alone, he pointed at it and asked him to take a look, he came and looked at the tree quietly and patiently. They went on walking, bearded man was ahead of his lover, this time, he stopped and pointed at a statue, he came and looked at the statue, quietly and patiently. I walked alone and faster, I saw them, then I passed by. I knew it would take them a lot of time to walk in this city, they would find and look at a lot of things together, they would forget time, forget all other people, even miss a train, but there would always be another train. There would always be another person who would see them, see their dance in this city. … 有一天早晨,商店都还没有开门,一个女孩坐在男孩的腿上,搂着他的脖子,他坐在轮椅上用手缓慢地转动着轮子前进,他们经过商店的橱窗,有时候停下来,有时候不停,有时候女孩低头笑着和他说话,有时他们停下来亲吻,那么自然,旁若无人。每一个路人都向他们投去温和的目光。我在超过他们之前,跟在他们后面慢慢地走了一会儿,只为了努力记住这个场景。 One day morning, shops were still closed, a girl was sitting on a boy’s lap, and her arms around his neck, he was sitting in a wheelchair, and rolling it slowly forwards, in the cold morning air. Sometimes they stopped at some shop window and looked at something together, and then he rolled forwards slowly, sometimes she bowed her head and talked with him with a smile, sometimes he stopped rolling the wheelchair and they began to kiss, so naturally and it felt like that they were the only two people on the world. Those who saw them, their eyes became gentle. And I walked slowly behind them for a while before I passed by, just tried to remember this. first written on 3rd 12 2011, edited on 22nd 4 2021
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Apr 16, 2021
In GOSSIPS
爸爸和妈妈开始看《罗马假日》 我说:他比她大十三岁。 妈妈问:他们有没有在一起? 我说:他们是朋友。 Dad and mom start to watch "Roman Holiday" I said : He was 13 years elder than her. Mom asked : Were they ever together? I said : They were friends.
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Apr 16, 2021
WE CANNOT EAT ONE KIWI TWICE [130120] content media
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Apr 15, 2021
In MY STORIES
I was sitting in a train, one of those old green slow trains in China. Wheat field outside the window was golden again which reminded me of what the fox said: before she met the little prince, wheat didn't mean anything to her, but after she met him, it became the colour of his hair. In that moment, while I was remembering the fox and the little prince, I believed somewhere there must be a girl looking at some chestnuts and thinking of the colour of someone's hair. It was the harvest season, when I used the word "harvest", I had no idea what did it really mean, how to harvest, how did it feel to harvest, what machine or tools should I use, what time of the day should I go to the field to harvest with other farmers. What is the sound of harvesting? There would be birds and other animals trying to follow us and get some easy food. Would they like it? Were the machines too loud and scary? Would any of them get hurt? What do they think of our behaviour? --- I was sitting in another train, one of those red slow regional trains in Germany. The golden colour outside the window appeared and disappeared, villages appeared and disappeared, trees standing in middle of no where appeared and disappeared: like a fast forwards played movie, between these frames, I suddenly saw a big red fox, the train was a slow train, but too fast for me to look carefully at a fox outside the window. I turned my shoulder, almost pressed my face on the window, I opened my eyes as wide as I can, tried really hard to look at the fox as long as I can, I tried to expand the few seconds into minutes, into hours, into days, so that I would never forget that I met a fox like a fire that day. There are things like this, I do not want to forget, even I can only experience it for few seconds. That afternoon later, I met a dead fox, lying alone on side of a road, eyes wide open. Who knows when or where we would meet foxes, were they alive or died painfully. --- Outside the fast forwards window, some black birds were flipping their wings over the golden wheat waves like in the painting Vincent did in 1890 summer, in the last week in his life. 15th April 2021
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Apr 13, 2021
In MY STORIES
1. People were searching my house, secret was in a black envelope under some purple flowers, they asked why the flowers were purple and touched them but did not find the envelope. I didn’t know why those flowers were purple, normally they were not. 2. I cut my hair, too short, and found out that part of my head was made of wood, so smooth and with the warm colour of wood. 3. A man was giving speech on his father's funeral, he said that it was right to keep the heart in a bottle after someone was dead, we should not just burn him into ashes. I thought: I would not do that, to throw my ashes into the river or sea would be nice. But if I had to put my heart in a bottle, I would give it to whom? Who would want to stare at my dead heart and thought of me? 4. The man finished speech and sat on a couch, started to read newspaper. A person sitting next to me said to me:"See? Do not sit on a couch, you will never want to move when you sit on a couch." Now I know the speech was just a cover of another secret, he should give the speech and run away, but he found a couch and sat down and forgot his life was in danger. 1. 一群人来我家搜查,秘密放在一个黑色信封里,信封放在一些紫色的花下面。他们问:为什么花是紫色的?他们摸了摸那些花,但是没有发现那个信封。我不知道花为什么是紫色的,它们通常不是紫色的。 2. 我剪了头发,剪得太短,于是我发现我的头有一块是木头做的,很光滑,带有木头温暖的颜色。 3. 一个男人在他父亲的葬礼上演讲,他说,应该把死去的人的心放在瓶子里,而不是把他烧成灰。我想,我可不会把自己的心放在瓶子里,烧成灰丢进河或者海就挺好的。可是,如果我非得把我的心放在瓶子里,我要给谁呢?谁会愿意盯着我死去的心怀念我呢? 4. 他结束了演讲,坐到一个沙发里,看起报纸来。坐在我旁边的人对我说:你看,不要坐在沙发上,如果你坐在沙发上你就再也不想动了。 现在我才知道,那个演讲只是为了给另外一个秘密打掩护,他应该演讲完就逃走的,可是他找到了一个沙发,然后忘记了他有生命危险。
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Apr 11, 2021
In MY STORIES
We thought it was the end of the exhibition, because everyone was waiting for the elevator to go downstairs. The elevator came, we stepped in, the door closed, the lights went off. We knew this had to be designed, we also had no idea what was going to happen. Then a monitor in the elevator was on, an old man started to talk about the death sentences and the executions, and how the last words of those prisoners were burnt but not sent to their family, the elevator was transparent, as it went down slowly (one centimetre per second maybe) we could see that outside the elevator was very dark, when we finally reached the basement, the video also reached its end. Before we went inside the elevator, nobody told us that we would stay in a dark little glass box, so close to each other and go to a dark basement slowly while listening to a story about death together. And we were just ten strangers, coming from many different places, who happened to visit this museum at the same time. It was so dark, we went out the elevator silently, without really looking at each other. The last parts of the exhibition were still waiting for us: the examples of the cell, torture room and hanging room. The whole story-telling, the installations, the music in different rooms, the light, the sound, the elevator, everything together made this exhibition a very complete and impressive one, I understand why camera is not allowed there, this is a story camera can't tell or record, and taking photos will be disturbing. 我们在等电梯,我以为展览已经结束。大概十个人进了电梯之后,灯灭了,电梯里的荧屏里,一个老人开始讲关于审判,绞刑以及死囚的遗言也没有被送到家人手里而只是付之一炬的事情。玻璃电梯非常缓慢的下降,外面漆黑一片,我们这一群谁也不认识谁的人们,就这样毫无预备地在一个缓缓下降的小黑屋里,听一个关于死亡的故事。故事讲完,电梯打开,到了地下室,等着我们的是一组复原的囚室,刑讯室和绞刑室。 这个博物馆不允许拍照,我想,拍照也记不下来这个的故事,到不如用心看,每个展室都有资料可以拿,按着时间顺序收好,还可以在资料上自己用笔作记录。展览很完整,配乐,音效,展厅布置和组织都很意味深长。 The elevator I was writing about is in this Museum: House of Terror, I visited it on 12th February 2013, text was written on 13th February 2013 @Budapest
Elevator * 电梯 [130213] content media
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Apr 11, 2021
In GOSSIPS
wrote on 14th February in Budapest I met a girl from Estonia in the hostel today, when I wrote my name for her, she smiled. She pointed at "Rong" and said:" This means train." I asked:"Train?" She said: "Yes, this means train in Estonian!” And I said:"I like train very much...now I know why..." 今天在青年旅馆遇到一个爱沙尼亚女孩,互换名字的时候,她笑了,指着“Rong"对我说:“这个是火车的意思!”我问:“火车?”她说:“是呀!这个在爱沙尼亚语里是火车的意思!” 我说:“我可喜欢火车了…现在我知道为什么了…”
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Apr 11, 2021
In EARTH IS...
I have to say…this is a great Gallery with lots of great art works…but the only one thing I love in this museum is this couch…I really want this couch…
Museum of Fine Arts @ Budapest [130220] content media
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Apr 11, 2021
In MY STORIES
wrote on 13th February 2013, In the Kerepesi Cemetery, Budapest, I saw many couple buried together using the same name, women did not just change her family name, they changed their given name too after they got married...later after checked WikiPedia, I knew it was a law and a tradition until 1950s. My personal opinion is, to take someone's name after getting married is actually romantic. I also want to keep mine too: to have both, if it is possible. If we were still thinking about is this equal or not, that means it is not equal. If to be equal or not would be no longer an issue to be talked about, that would be the time for the real equality. If I love someone so much that I want to change my name to his, I will just do it. I do not have to keep my name to show that we are equal, what matters is if I want to, if we want to. We were born separated, and we chose someone to be buried with us together some day. (this is just a metaphor, I do not think having a grave is my thing for now. It could change though) 在布达佩斯的Kerepesi墓地,我看到很多葬在一起、同名同姓的夫妻,妻子们不但改了她们本来的姓,连她们的名字也改了。后来查了维基百科以后我才知道,这在五十年代以前,是匈牙利的传统也是法律的规定。 我个人觉得,婚后把姓或名改成丈夫的姓名还是挺浪漫的,我也愿意同时能保留我自己的名字。 这和平等或者不平等无关,如果平等与否还是个需要讨论的事情,那就还没有真正的平等。如果我爱一个人而愿意从此用他的名字来称呼自己,就那样去做好了。我不需要通过保留我的本名来显示我们是平等的,一切只关乎于我或者我们是否愿意这样做。 我们在不同的地方出生,但我们却要选择一个死后要和我们埋葬在一起的人。 (I won't post photos of the gravestones here, if anyone is interested, you could do some research online, or ask me to send some photos to you per email. Please contact me here: https://www.partof-shan.com/sayhi ) ------------------------------------- some information about Hungarian names, from Wikipedia/ 关于匈牙利名字的一些信息,来源于维基百科 [Wikipedia][Hungarian names] When Hungary was under Habsburgrule and became influenced by Western European traditions, women became known by their husbands' names. So for example Szendrey Júlia, marrying Petőfi Sándor, became Petőfi Sándorné (the -né suffix approximately means "wife of", and this is the Hungarian equivalent of "Mrs." as in "Mrs. John Smith"). This was both the law and the tradition until the 1950s. During the Communist rule of Hungary, great emphasis was put upon the equality of women and men, and from that time, women could either choose to keep their maiden name or take that of their husband. Most women did the latter except for artists.[citation needed] Now, the alternatives for a woman when she marries are as shown below (using the examples of Szendrey Júlia and Petőfi Sándor – Júlia and Sándor are their given names): Júlia can keep her maiden name, as Szendrey Júlia (now very popular, especially among more-educated women). Júlia gives up her name, adds the suffix -né to her husband's full name, and will be called Petőfi Sándorné. Júlia adds the suffix -né to her husband's family name, adds her full name and will be called Petőfiné Szendrey Júlia. Júlia adds the suffix -né to her husband's full name, adds her full name and will be called Petőfi Sándorné Szendrey Júlia (less popular these days, because it is long to write).
Kerepesi Cemetery @ Budapest [130221] content media
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Apr 11, 2021
In MY STORIES
wrote on 8th March 2013 Last Saturday, I cleaned my home thoroughly. The desk became very very clean too. Then, in the sunny afternoon, sitting in front of the desk which was so clean that could reflect the sunshine, I suddenly thought about some sad things. I laid my arms on the very clean desk, laid my head on my arms, and I cried. After few minutes, I stopped for a while and thought: "It is so comfortable to cry on such a clean desk"...Then...I cried a few more minutes... A sunny afternoon was much better than a cloudy afternoon, even the tears could absorb some positive energy. 上周六,我把家打扫得非常干净。桌子也非常干净。于是在午后的阳光里坐在都可以反射阳光的桌子面前,我想起一些伤心的事儿,我就趴在非常干净的桌子上哭了一会儿。哭到一半,我突然想:“原来趴在干净的桌子上哭一会儿是这么惬意的事儿。”于是我又多哭了一会儿。 有阳光的下午就是比没阳光的下午好,眼泪都能吸收到正能量。
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Apr 11, 2021
In MY STORIES
wrote on 24th August 2012, Rainy This black cat is Merlin. The daughter of my boss brought it back from a Pet-Rescue-Centre last year, in autumn. Her new owner lives with her husband and two children on the first floor of the house, and on the second floor, is our firm. I realised that there was a new cat lived downstairs after she had already lived here for months. She is so timid, that the first time we met was just for few seconds, and then she ran away fast, and disappeared. There was one day, when the door of her home was accidentally locked and she could only wait in the staircase. When my boss saw her, he took her upstairs to meet us. I would never forget the expression in her eyes, she was very curious at that time, but was also so scared, because this is a whole new world for her, and we all knew that her former owner treated her very badly, and that is why she is so afraid of everything! She stood there, and looked around, all people in the room just stood there with her, no one moved — to show her that we were no danger to her. When she started to walk around us a little bit, we were all so proud of her. But when one of us squatted down and wanted to pet her, she suddenly jumped away! She behaved so contradictorily: She wanted to get close to us, maybe she wanted us to pet her too, but she jumped away so quickly as if she never thought about it. And she got confused by herself too. She got closer again, and she jumped away again, with that frightened look in her eyes. And her first tour on the second floor ended. After that, I saw her black back from time to time, and I thought she was getting better, because sometimes she stayed a few seconds and looked at me, did not run away immediately. But she never showed herself on our floor. Yesterday, when I was standing on the first floor in front of the house gate, she came towards me! And rubbed against my legs, I squatted down very slowly, and she did not run away! After I petted her for 15 minutes, she still did not want me to go! What a surprise! But when I was petting her, she bitted and scratched me very suddenly sometimes but didn’t really hurt me. She meowed with a husky voice and showed her teeth to me time to time. I think her earlier experience caused that she does not know how to love tenderly, she only knows a rough way to show her feeling. And today, she came upstairs and looked for me, as we were good friends for a long time. She talked with me a lot, she meowed, and I meowed back. And I took this photo of her when she was with me. I am so glad she was happier, braver, and more peaceful than before!
MERLIN THE BLACK CAT [120824] content media
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Apr 11, 2021
In MY STORIES
wrote on 26th 12.2012 If we keep running from birth to death what is the matter we run slowly or fast with hunger or food rich or poor smart or fool what is the matter if we made mistakes if we run with regrets We shall just keep running from birth to death I wrote it yesterday, it just came to me when I was watching TV. I wrote it down, but did not publish, because I thought it was not good enough, it had no meaning. But there is one good thing about writing a poem, I could just catch my feelings and they do not have to have meanings, even though I wish they could... This morning, I realised that this poem is about "meaningless": life is just a process, we are in it, meanings are in it, we do not have to catch anything, we just live sincerely, that is enough. 昨天写了这个,就在我看电视的时候,它就突然出现了,但昨天没有发表,因为我觉得它还不够好,因为它没有什么意义。 写诗的一个好处是,我只需要抓住感觉,而不需要抓住意义……但是有时候我还是希望它同时具备一些意义的…… 今天早上,我意识到“没有意义”正是这诗的意义所在,生命只是一个过程,我们在这个过程里,意义也在这个过程里,我们不需要抓住什么,我们能真诚地生活,就足够了。
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Feb 15, 2021
In GOSSIPS
I have made up "Partof Shan" at first because I write poems, and my own name simply does not sound like a poet, I chose Partof because poems are "part of" me, also it is neutral, because I do not feel particularly that I am male or female when I write or create, and "Partof" sounds like a Russian name, we know Russia has great poets. ; ) Then slowly it becomes my identity, some people really call me Partof even they know my name, I think they find it exiting and funny to do so and also they show me in this way that they accept and understand my art. Sometimes I wonder if I were not Partof Shan, who I really am? And sometimes I even think I should keep what I do as Partof as a secret when I meet new people, see what I am to them if they had never seen things I created. Or we do not talk about what I make. (It is just an experiment in my head, I have not tried it yet.) And recently I discovered another unexpected advantage of making up my name, which is: it is the very first results if you google it, I like it.
SOMETHING ABOUT MY NAME ;) content media
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Feb 14, 2021
In EARTH IS...
I read and watched this news this morning. https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-africa-55894733 Some small things... A woman said: "It is really really sad, we miss these sharks a lot." (Sharks disappeared is not good for the local industry) In my mind, sharks yell from far far away :"We don't miss you!!!" A marine biologist with something scary and sharp pointing at some small sharks in water said: "We just need a piece of small tissue from you, (so we can study you)". Ouch! Why do we need to study animals? Will we wave something sharp and pointing at our human neighbours who just pass by and say to them friendly:"Hey, do not be afraid, I just need a piece of small tissue from you, so I can study human!" (Maybe we will, just with smaller tools. -_-) Oh...we are the strangest mammal on this planet...
WHERE ARE CAPE TOWN'S GREAT WHITE SHARKS?[210214] content media
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Feb 08, 2021
In MY STORIES
(this is not a poem) CHAPTER ONE once upon a time, when corona was visiting our planet. supermarkets became the only interesting places people were still allowed to visit. one day, he bought melon and chips, she bought chocolates and beers, they looked at their food choices then looked at each other and fell in love. they shared the melon, chips, chocolates and beers on the same day, and then a lot of other things later. they told each other their deepest desires and their darkest fears. CHAPTER TWO they moved in together after few months did everything couples could do at home. meanwhile, online-shopping, food delivery and home office had developed so well during that special time too. they then both slowly developed an agoraphobia, and lived together happily ever after. they never left home again and made a lot of babies. ------THE VERY HAPPY END----- 8TH 2 2021 P. SHAN in Stuttgart
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Feb 06, 2021
In GOSSIPS
7th Feb 2021 Today, I received my first feedback, it is a "kind" one, as the person wrote, but this person did not leave a real E-mail, I wish I could write back and say thanks, since I can't, I would love to share it here, without the name, whoever it is, must be a very private person. Here is the message: SUBJECT only a kind feedback :) MESSAGE Hi, just wanted to let you know that your drawings are great: funny, serious, weird, pensive and pondering. I had to laugh loudly and then think again in the same moment. Keep up your great work! :) I am glad these words are used to describe how this person thinks of my drawings, I think they can describe me perfectly too. "pensive" and "pondering" are new words to me! (English is not my native language.) Some words do have feelings, I am always very inspired when I see them for the first time, and to discover what do they mean in my dictionary is also a very fresh experience. Thanks for your feedback! And I changed my contact form which tells everyone that they can leave their "REAL or FAKE EMAIL". ;) Check it: https://www.partof-shan.com/sayhi
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